How To Make Mistakes

We’ve all had a bad day – a bad morning with the kids, a dumb financial move, a road we regret not taking.

Mistakes are a part of life, but of course that doesn’t make them any easier when they happen.

As a result, we tend to beat ourselves up over them, ruminating about our failures, spending too long googling how to fix it. We hold ourselves to an impossible standard, struggling to forgive what we label as something we should have known better about.

But that’s the thing.

If we knew what would happen, if we had the luxury of hindsight, we’d have acted differently.

But that isn’t how life works. We’re constantly expected to make decisions and take actions (or allowed to delay and avoid actions) with limited knowledge of the future.

And in this context, mistakes are inevitable. They’re the unforeseen outcome, or at least one we thought was improbable.

If you had all the information, wisdom, courage, awareness, and perspective you have today before making that decision, buying that thing, avoiding that unfamiliar choice, you probably wouldn't have made the mistake in the first place.

That's what makes it a mistake, and usually a surprise.

Life isn't a multiple-choice test with an answer key. It’s complex and unpredictable. But in this living experiment, we’re at least guaranteed some kind of outcome, even if it’s not what we wanted.

Sometimes you get the result you hoped for.

Sometimes you get the data (or lesson) you needed to form a better understanding for next time.

The important reality is that neither outcome is wasted if you’re willing to learn from it.

The danger is paying the price for the lesson and then not learning from it.

Good judgment isn't the absence of mistakes. It's the accumulation and application of lessons, to the best of our ability.

And the most important thing to remember in this reality is that we owe ourselves compassion, forgiveness, and the benefit of the doubt. We often forget to extend ourselves the grace and reasonable expectations that we extend to others.

So the next time you mess up, remember that unpleasant surprises are simply information you didn't have yesterday.

Feel the disappointment. Learn the lesson. Adjust the course.

Remember that you tried and did the best you could with the circumstances, resources, energy, or knowledge you had at the time. You’re only human.

Then keep going with a greater degree of grace and compassion, as well as better information, than before.